I was at the playground the other day with my favorite people: best friend, her husband, her daughter, and her brother. I was talking to Gabriel about Winnie the Pooh, and who would be what characters in our group of friends. "Well, I told Najwa she would be Pooh. She didn't like that."
I agreed even though I had originally thought she would be Kanga, being so maternal and loving. Her brother took no thought as he is very clearly an Eeyore, and Gabriel is definitely a Tigger. In fact, I think Gabriel may have time-traveled at some point and inspired the character of Tigger. "Who would I be?" I asked, and Gabriel thought about it for a few seconds before saying, "None of them. There's no sarcastic, you-like character in the entire Winnie the Pooh universe."
I wanted to object, but I didn't even though I only felt I should half-give it to him. Yeah, I'm sarcastic, I wanted to say, but I'm also a few other things (I think). I thought about what this signifies, because this exact same thing has happened to me twice before with different groups of people, none of whom I am close with any longer.
The most recent time was when I was crashing with my friends Tony and Colin. Tony, Colin, and our friend Shauna were talking about whom would be whom on Bob's Burgers. It was very quickly decided that Tony would be Louise, Colin would be Bob, our friend Jesse would be Gene, and Shauna would be Linda. "So, I would be Tina," I said, and no one agreed.
It was decided that I could not be Tina Belcher because I am not, in fact, a strong, sensual woman. And to be fair, they really wanted me to move out so they could have their space back, so it felt as though they wouldn't give me a character because they didn't want me there. I can understand that.
The other time was with my former in-laws, and it was Family Guy. Even though I am very, very clearly (to myself, at least) a Brian, no one would quite all the way agree with me. The argument was mostly from my ex, and I think it boiled down to, "No way, Brian's awesome," so there's that. It didn't bother me at that time, it just annoyed me that I could never quite get my opinion all the way on the table with them. I was the oddball because I was never quite one of them. They had a character for everyone but me.
It's happened other times, also, when discussing who would be who out of the cast of Scrubs, Friends, The Wire, and Community. I do realize that I shouldn't be reading so far into what it means that my personality doesn't fit into any of these very specific boxes, but it makes me wonder just a little bit if this is an indicator of something else. Characters are based on archetypes, and every cast of characters, whether it is in a children's program or a heavy drama, has those archetypes represented. I have few close friends, and I think that is because I have tried so hard to break myself of my old habit of trying too hard, so now that earnestness that used to put people off has been replaced by an aloofness that people kind of don't know what to do with. I disappear from people's lives because I don't want to be annoying, and then I don't like it when they forget me. And with any group of friends I end up in, I'm still not sure what I even contribute, or what my place is. And I don't know if it is a good or a bad thing that my friends, who know me the best, can't clearly peg me as any character when they play these games. Maybe I'm just kind of hard to figure out, and I guess that's okay, but at the same time, if I knew what part I was playing, it might be easier to figure out what my purpose is. Or maybe I'm just meant to be the wild card in every deck, and that's my purpose.
